33 in 3

The big 33 is creeping towards me....3 more days to be exact. I'm a bit excited and blah about it. I'm thankful that I still look young but when I look closely in the mirror I see the beginnings of some .... shall I say it? Wrinkles! I am starting to realize that I need to embrace my ever changing body. It's a pretty neat thing. I went from this really skinny 100 lbs. to my healthy looking weight. Finally! After YEARS of being anorexically skinny, I have finally put on weight that makes me look good. I always joke with Doug that this happy thing ain't working for me. Years of sadness from a previously bad marriage was not good for me - but is it good for anyone? No, not really. It's interesting how life takes you in many directions and makes its rounds. I'm in an intersting place in my life and I can finally say that I have finally found out what romance, love, & giddiness is. I've been like this since 2006 and it struck me today how lucky I am to have found Doug. Well I already knew all of this but it has really been on my mind today. He has really been such an inspiration to me. I really don't know if I could have gone through everything that I went through without him. He keeps me level headed, strong, optimistic, makes me laugh until my stomach hurts and brought the Lena back to Lena.

I'm guessing that I am thinking about all of this because of the recent murder of a gal from UA. She was friends with Chris. You can read his blog: http://zenandjuice.com/word/ I didn't know her. I had seen her in the hallways of the art department many times. Chris spoke highly of her. Everything that I have read about her seems to really tell about a charismatic lady. I wished I had known her. It's too unfortunate that her psycho ex-boyfriend killed her. What a lunatic. He was in my world literature class this semester. This tragic event has really had me thinking all day. One, I feel so bad for her and her family. Two, I feel bad for Chris - he's had too many losses recently. Three, it's a reminder of how fragile life is. We take it for granted every day. This gal Katie didn't even get a chance to get past graduation or the age of 30. The whole story makes me sick. Life is so short.

I don't want to think about it but I need to work on a living will. As I prepare for a out of state spring break trip on Monday, I think of all of the "what if's" and I know you can't live your life like that. But what if there's no tomorrow? I just want to make sure that my loved ones are taken care of.

33 in 3 days. I'm getting older but it makes me realize so much about life. And it's true - the older you get, the more you don't worry about the little crap. You worry about your child, your spouse and your family.